


Consequentiality

by hiddenheadspace



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Says Yes, Fallen Castiel, Gen, If dean had gone through with saying yes that one time in s5, Nick is falling apart, that was too many relationship tags wasnt it, you know the one where he winked at sam and changed his mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2013-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-29 03:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddenheadspace/pseuds/hiddenheadspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam holds a Yes under his tongue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consequentiality

Castiel takes to wandering the streets at night, coming back in the very early hours (or sometimes not at all, only returning after a day or two has passed). Sam wonders if Cas would care if he came back and found Sam gone. In any case, he half-suspects that Cas only sticks with him because Sam doesn't say anything when he starts showing up high as he used to be able to fly and with horrible, shattering grief written all over him.

Sam, for his part, spends the lonely hours staring sleeplessly at the ceiling and holding a Yes under his tongue the few times he manages dreaming.

"I don't want—" he tries to explain, once, to Lucifer. "I like the world. I don't want it to burn. I like people."

The words feel pointless and fake. Dean was always better than him at convincing speeches.

"The world's already burning," Lucifer points out. Nick's skin has begun to peel off entirely, and it leaves his face a raw, blistering mess. Sam can't quite look at him straight on.

(He pins the Yes in the back of his throat. He wants Dean back.)

"How do you bear it?" he asks out of desperation.

"Bear...what?" Lucifer asks leadingly. His head is tilted to the side a little, a habit that Castiel never quite managed to break, either.

"Losing your brother," he says brittlely, bitterly. Lucifer recoils at his words, the shared pain that Sam pretends he doesn't make him empathize.

Castiel shows up at four in the morning and takes a shower, or at least leaves the water running so that Sam won't hear him sobbing.

Sam hates angels and the way they broke his family. Bobby calls again, leaves him voicemails. Michael destroys a town with Dean's hands, supposably full of sinners. Lucifer visits again in the night, but doesn't speak. Sam keeps a Yes buried in his heart and misses his brother with his entire soul.


End file.
